I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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