I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
