Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
