I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
