Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
