when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
