a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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