so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Your shirt... Was in my pants
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I see more hoeing in ur future
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