I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
