just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
