Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
