where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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