I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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