Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
