He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My ass is underappreciated
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
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