In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
