Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
