Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
