We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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