C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
