i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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