Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
