We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize