If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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