the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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