Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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