I accidentally had phone sex last night
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
