I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
