I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
