This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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