Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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