We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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