Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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