Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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