the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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