We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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