Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
