in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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