peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
