Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
