good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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