I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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