Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize