i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
