Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!