awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
