I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.