why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA