Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
