you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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