does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
this just has baby written all over it
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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