hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
