Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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