i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
