I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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