I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
