its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize