you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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