shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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