i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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