I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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