i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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