your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Can I color on your dick again?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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