you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
