bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
