how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
