If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
