You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
