I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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