how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
